Self's the Man

Larkin's poem 'Self's the Man' demonstrates Larkin's view of marriage, as he compares his single life to that of a married man. He describes the life of 'Arnold' who, from Larkin's point of view, has a terrible life dominated by his wife and full of restrictions because of his marriage. Throughout the first half of the poem, because of this, Arnold is presented as selfless, however the 'But' halfway through the poem introduces a change of tone as Larkin begins to express his feeling that married people are still selfish, they just made the wrong selfish decision. The regular rhyme scheme, AABB throughout the poem reflects the repetitive nature of marriage, as well as reiterating the contrast of two different life styles. 

Stanza 1:

• 'to stop her getting away' demonstrates Larkin's misogynist views, and introduces irony in the idea 'Arnold' is now seemingly trapped by his wife. 
• 'That Arnold is less selfish than I' suggests Arnold can put up with it because he has given himself up for his wife, Larkin is suggesting this is not necessarily a good thing, and something he doesn't want to do. 
• 'Now she's there all day' shows women are also trapped  into being a housewife by marriage. 

Stanza 2:

• 'money he gets for wasting his life on work' suggests the money isn't worth giving up your life for.
• 'she takes as her perk' shows Larkin's dislike of women as she isn't even named, and he suggests that this is the set up for every family. 'Perk' shows more irony as Larkin suggests she indulges it on herself, when in reality she spends it on 'the drier' ect. 
• 'Kiddies clobber' demonstrates Larkin's dislike of children, as they are just mess to him. 
• 'the electric fire' being one of the main things Arnold's wages are spent on, suggests he is wasting his life and what he gets out of it is only fake. It also links to Larkin's dislike of modern life. 

Stanza 3:

• 'he finishes supper' shows how women get no credit for the things they do for men, like making them meals, and all Arnold focuses on is the things they prevent him from doing. 
• 'Put a screw in this wall' suggests women are needy, men have to do the work and Arnold's life is just full of pointless jobs. Also the italics suggest he is mocking his wife. 
• 'no time' shows how Larkin feels marriage takes freedom. 

Stanza 4

• 'nippers to wheel round the houses' reinforces Larkin's dislike of children, and suggests they too are needy. 
• 'in his old trousers' suggests that she gets the 'perks' and he doesn't even get new clothes, and also that you can't move forward when married, it restricts you and you are stuck in the past. 
• 'her mother' shows another woman Larkin see's as a chore, unworthy of a name but you are forced to see. 

Stanza 5

• 'makes me feels a swine' links to how bachelors are seen as animals because they don't follow social conventions.
• 'Oh' demonstrates Larkin's sarcastic tone.
• 'I' at end of stanza emphasized by fullstop, demonstrates selfishness. 

Stanza 6

• 'But wait' shows people are quick to judge which is ironic considering Larkin's reputation. Also introduces change of tone as caesura gives the poem a quicker pace. 
• 'not just pleasing his friends' shows how much pressure Larkin feels socials norms have, so the point where friends trap you as well as wives. 

Stanza 7

• 'it was such a mistake' shows marriage is a mistake although 'he did it for his own ends' so it was still a selfish decision it was just a bad one. 
• 'game' suggests life is a game and you have to play it right.

Stanza 8

• 'Only I'm a better hand' suggests Larkin understands life better than others. 
• 'At knowing what I can stand' shows how Larkin will not comprimise. 
• 'without them sending a van' shows how Larkin thinks married people are crazy.
• 'Or i suppose i can' introduces some selfdoubt in the final line, suggesting you never really get true happiness because even Larkin doesnt seem happy with his life.